11/19/13

Two more days and I get to spend a whole week with the man I love! Sometimes I think about the word "love" and who much the word means to me since i met you. Yes, I mean met you, not date you. The first time i met you, i know my life would never be the same again. You quickly went from being someone who i knew to someone I Couldn't get enough of. I don't think you'll ever know how much it meant to me when we went up to the Monogram and we talked about the boy i was dating at that time. That was the moment I knew I was in trouble. I was quickly falling for the boy i now call my best friend. When you gave me that key, your key, I wanted to swallow it or just put it under my skin so I would never lose it, because losing it in my mind, meant losing you. As our relationship was challenged over the summer, I know that I could never lose you. It wasn't possible. You meant way to much to me.
Everyday I would pray for you and go on Facebook and see if any other gigs were competing. I soon realized that although writing letters were fun, they weren't working to truly show you what you want to me. Therefor I embarked on the journey to mini- blogging my thoughts on little pieces of paper and shoving them all into a mini treasure chest. there was everything in there. But still not enough, I needed to show you the love that i felt and wanted you to feel! Bible verses were always my got o and I wanted to show you the everlasting love of Christ. But yet it wasn't enough so I've concluded: you will never know, you will only feel it.  But that doesn't mean i will stop trying to show you for as long as I love you.
Just a little side note: I do want to make you more of those notes because I loved watching your eyes light up at every word and letter. I'm talking to you on Facebook right now, and yes, I am being a weirdo and I have been for the past few days but especially for the past 30 minutes writing this journal. I've realized its not only you that makes my joyous but also talking about you and verbally appreciating you makes me love you even more. you should try it sometime it feels great to finally be happy again.